So I got a phone call from someone today...who was fairly distraught and needed to get some things off his chest. As he told me his story I felt terrible for him and the other person involved. Sad that they had to experience the same thing I went through. Frustrated that they did have to do it. Angry that they couldn't be appreciated for the good work that they could do. Pissed off that I could do nothing about it, but pass them up the ladder and listen with a sympathetic ear.
On the other hand, I wanted to dance a jig.
I know. I know. WHAT KIND OF PERSON FEELS LIKE THAT?!
I will tell you. A person who fought as hard as she could to make the best out of a craptastic situation and felt like she failed miserably. Someone who felt like there was something wrong with HER...some kind of inner failure that led to mistakes that could not be fixed. Someone who had a million things left to say and no chance to say it. Someone who still battles with depression and anger over what happened....and left questioning why she let it happen to her. Why she didn't step up sooner and stop it.
That is the kind of person who dances a jig when she gets the phone call that two people that she highly respects, who are walking away because they would not make the best of situation where there is no best. Because somewhere deep inside of her....it is the validation she has been waiting for.
That it wasn't my fault. It wasn't my own personal failings. That I DID do the best I could. That I did accomplish a lot. That I am not insignificant.
I am just glad that these two people understood the situation better and refused to allow what I allowed to happen to me, to happen to them.
That is worth a jig all by itself.
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1 comment:
And I jig with you, dear girl!
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