A hand on the shoulder and a protected back

We all have to venture along our own roads in life and sometimes our paths cross or they run so close together that we can lean out the windows and chat. We make choices and hope that they are right. We cross our fingers and press on hoping that what is around the bend is a bright sunny open road.

Sometimes its not. Sometimes it is a darkness so dark that there is no other option but to feel your way one toe at a time. Now this darkness seems horrid at the time. We wonder why we made the choice we made. Why didn't we choose the easier way. The way with less tears. Less heartache. Less anger. Less fear. Why didn't we turn left? We have no other choice but to press forward, cursing ourselves and the skies.

While this is painful we always have those few "helpful" people in our lives. The ones who happen to near our path and can see us walking in circles when we cannot see it ourselves. Now these people fall in to two categories, there are the ones who shout the occasional, "keep going!" or "you can do it!", but they are really focused on their own roads and their own cares, but know that to be a "good friend" you have to say these things.

Then there are those that fall into category two. These are the ones that slow down. Look at our twisted confused steps. They listen to our curses and cries. They listen to our pleas for an end to it, a way to get back to where we were, or even an escape from where we are. These are the people who don't shout, but reach across their road into ours and put their hands on our shoulders. To let us know that we have someone in the darkness with us. They may not be able to see what is on the other side of the darkness, but they can see the light and their gentle hands urge us toward it.

These are the folks than we burst through into our lightness do not want thanks because they are just happy to see us healing and to know that we now stand in the sun. They also know that they will eventually be stumbling and all they want in return is a hand on the shoulder. Whereas those in category one would love to hear "thank you" because they took time to notice you, because they are your "real" friends.

I would like to take a moment and say that I want to be a number two kind of person. That I hope against everything that I can stop being so wrapped up in me and hear the cries from the roads next to mine. I have been through my fair share of darkness in my life and I have a handful of people that I know will always be the hands on my shoulders, the people that will hang on to me when I stumble. And deep inside I know I will never be able to thank them and when it is my turn to be there I realize how helpless they must have felt. The pain that was caused to them because of my pain. I know from my own experience that when they emerge they will be better for facing the darkness head on and there is not much I can do to stop the darkness, but you can believe that I will be striving to be the person that allows them to feel like their back is protected.

Because we all need someone who has our back.

"Friends are as companions on a journey, who ought to aid each other to persevere in the road to a happier life."
-Pythagoras