Dear Me...

You are getting better and that is great! Your friends are remarking about your change, noticing the small steps you are allowing into your life, and the zeal in which you have taken on certain aspects of parts of your life. You have noticed confidence in yourself that you hadn't previously known existed. You have begun steps to make your life more healthy in all aspects, even if they are tiny baby steps. Keep up the hard work!

My concern comes in the past couple of weeks...this sense of failure you are feeling. You must know that this is utter nonsense. The letters of rejection hurt...of course they don't hurt as bad as the silence from possible employers. I recognize this, but you have an impressive resume. You have worked your butt off the past two years and it shows. You have to believe in you. Things are tough out there but you are tough. You have faced some pretty rough stuff in your life and you come out of it, maybe a little bruised, but always you make it out. This is no different. Head down, focus...you got this.

So stop letting this sense of failure and deep seated fear spill into other aspects of your life. You are going to let yourself ruin some really great things if you can't reign it in. So deep breath. Calm down. You will not fail. You will be proud of yourself. You will not let everyone down. You will make the life you want. Of course the road isn't the road you imagined, but maybe this road will be better for you.

So, take it from an old friend, roll down the windows. Dance more in your bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are strong. Don't resist to cry the tears of frustration, but don't give into the tears of failure. Eat watermelon while it is still in season. Enjoy your relationships. Kiss your boyfriend. Play with the dog. Take a nap every once in a while. And most of important...don't give up just yet, I sense something good for you. Something that will make you a better you.

Your very kind friend,
Me

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage."
-Anais Nin